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 Post subject: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-handed?
PostPosted: July 8th, 2020, 10:28 am 
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Joined: September 27th, 2011, 12:10 pm
Posts: 47
Location: South east, USA
My son, who will turn 4 on Friday, has been obsessed with playing musical instruments since he was old enough to sit up on his own... So obsessed, I was not surprised when he received 3 ukuleles on his 1st birthday. To this day, he continues to play music with an extreme level of enthusiasm, interest, and obsession. I think he has a natural knack with rhythm and a keen ear for understanding advanced musical concepts, distinguishing tones/parts, and actually wanting to know who the bass player or drummer is on a particular track :D, ha! As his dad, not sure if I'm being super biased or if I'm actually recognizing something special... or perhaps both? Either way, I'm super fascinated to see how this plays out and am excited about the possibility of sharing a common passion with my son!

I've done by best to not force music on him or put any restrictions/guidelines on the way he chooses to pick up an instrument, pluck it, bang it, etc... I've been inspired by Victor Wooten's philosophy on how to help children nurture a healthy and long lasting love affair with learning musical instruments, which includes not fearing/embracing mistakes and treating the instrument as more play than practice, not unlike the way a kid first learns to speak. I've tried my best to nurture this approach, but now I'm faced with what feels like to me, a moral conundrum...

I believe that he might be ready to start getting some ukulele lessons and before I start him on that path, it seems like I need to help him settle on his dominant playing hand? Thus, I'm wondering if any of my fellow lefties could weigh in from personal experience or could just provide sound advice?

99% of the time, he picks up an instrument like a lefty and he's been doing it this way for 2 years solid. He could be a natural lefty or he could just be copying the way he sees me hold my instruments? My wife and I are both left-handed, so part of me would be thrilled if I we could defy the odds and have a house full of lefties. The practical side of me, and the advice given by his future instructor (who’s a righty), says to go with the conventional norms and encourage him to play right-handed. He wouldn't have to roam the earth looking for a decent instrument and there are some apparent advantages with using your dominant hand to hold the notes. The militant-lefty part of me says, we need more lefties in this world and who am I to let a righty suggest switching the way my son has always held a stringed instrument.

I’m as lefty as they come, so I'm having a hard time separating my extreme lefty bias with what's actually best for my son long term. I don’t truly think that encouraging my son to switch would ruin him at his age, but it might delay the progress he’s already made or just pose an unnecessary obstacle? I think these are matters that a right-handed person often takes for granted, so I’m hoping a fellow lefty could understand the conflict I’m facing, which is what brings me here.

Ultimately, I just want to help set him up for success or perhaps I’m just contradicting Victor’s philosophy altogether by posing the question?

For those who are wondering, my son is still 50/50 on deciding his writing hand.

Thanks for taking the time to read and consider your thoughts and opinions on this matter.

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 Post subject: Re: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-hande
PostPosted: July 8th, 2020, 4:08 pm 
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Joined: March 9th, 2008, 7:46 am
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Location: West Orange, NJ
First thing's first. Do you now for certain he's a lefty? Does he write left handed, or pick up an instrument and hold it left handed?

Here's been my experience. When I was about 12, I went for my first guitar lesson. I sat down opposite the teacher, and instinctively held the guitar left handed. The teacher responded, "What are you doing? Don't hold it that way, flip it over." I explained to him that it didn't feel right holding it that way, to which he replied, "What the hell do you know? You don't even know how to play yet." And that was the one and only lesson I ever took.

Of course, as a beginner you can be taught to play either way, but I think a certain comfort level out of the gate goes a long way towards progressing and sticking with an instrument. I took up bass at age 17 (late), and 3 weeks later I performed my first concert in front of over 500 people at a school concert. I seriously doubt I would have been able to do that had I been taught to play righty.

As for ukulele, I own a restrung righty. (Does anyone even make a lefty uke?). It's an instrument you can flip over relatively easily, since it doesn't have a slanted bridge, nut slots aren't ascending in size like a guitar, etc. So I'd see how he favors holding it first, and ask him, "What feels better?" And if he's a lefty, don't worry about it as far as ukes go. As far as guitars and basses, well yeah, there are definite drawbacks/limitations, but there are more lefty options today than ever before. Every time I get annoyed that a certain model isn't made lefty, I look at the collection I've amassed over the years and say, "What the hell and I complain about?" :lol:

Good luck


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 Post subject: Re: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-hande
PostPosted: July 9th, 2020, 4:55 am 
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Joined: December 20th, 2011, 11:42 am
Posts: 965
Location: Philly Area
I had this struggle with my daughter and I think I made the right choice. First of all my daughter is left handed, she writes, throws all left handed. She started on Piano at age 6 and as you know there is no left or right however her teacher made an obervation (she did not know Liz was left handed at the time). She said my daughter has a very strong left hand (bass part of piano) as well as chords and the right hand for Melody and leads was not as developed. Next was flute, now Flute is only played one way (no left handed flutes) however unlike piano both hands work together on the flute. When Taylor Swift came out and my daughter was 10, she wanted to learn guitar. Now I had to make a decision, first of all if she learns guitar left handed there are plenty of left handed guitars in the house. She tried left handed and it was so natural for her. Again the key word is "Natural", she also picked up the Uke and I restrung it for her left handed. I agree with the above, is the child writes left handed, if they throw left handed keep em left handed. The brain is wired and tells you if your left handed or right handed and have them go with what is natural. My son is different he is right handed, he plays drums and keyboards and if he goofs around on the guitar it's always right handed.


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 Post subject: Re: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-hande
PostPosted: July 9th, 2020, 5:16 am 
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Joined: April 28th, 2010, 10:59 am
Posts: 868
Location: Dover, NH
I think it will come naturally, but the uke idea is great.

I'm somewhat of an anomaly - I'm actually right-handed.
Literally, the only thing I do left-handed is play bass.
And I had a similar experience. I started playing righty, but lefty was much more comfortable.

pete


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PostPosted: July 9th, 2020, 1:20 pm 
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Joined: September 27th, 2011, 12:10 pm
Posts: 47
Location: South east, USA
pjmuck wrote:
First thing's first. Do you now for certain he's a lefty? Does he write left handed, or pick up an instrument and hold it left handed?

Here's been my experience. When I was about 12, I went for my first guitar lesson. I sat down opposite the teacher, and instinctively held the guitar left handed. The teacher responded, "What are you doing? Don't hold it that way, flip it over." I explained to him that it didn't feel right holding it that way, to which he replied, "What the hell do you know? You don't even know how to play yet." And that was the one and only lesson I ever took.

Of course, as a beginner you can be taught to play either way, but I think a certain comfort level out of the gate goes a long way towards progressing and sticking with an instrument. I took up bass at age 17 (late), and 3 weeks later I performed my first concert in front of over 500 people at a school concert. I seriously doubt I would have been able to do that had I been taught to play righty.

As for ukulele, I own a restrung righty. (Does anyone even make a lefty uke?). It's an instrument you can flip over relatively easily, since it doesn't have a slanted bridge, nut slots aren't ascending in size like a guitar, etc. So I'd see how he favors holding it first, and ask him, "What feels better?" And if he's a lefty, don't worry about it as far as ukes go. As far as guitars and basses, well yeah, there are definite drawbacks/limitations, but there are more lefty options today than ever before. Every time I get annoyed that a certain model isn't made lefty, I look at the collection I've amassed over the years and say, "What the hell and I complain about?" :lol:

Good luck


I'm not 100% certain that my son is a lefty, but like I said in my original post, but he's always held an instrument like a lefty. He tends to eat with his hand left most of the time, but is 50/50 with writing and working with hammers, tools, etc... So, I'm still on the fence.

Thank you for sharing your experience and I'm sorry you had a such a negative outcome with your first and only lesson. I can see how that would have left a bad taste in your mouth. I also started playing bass late (19) and was also advised to switch to playing right handed. I gave it a thought, but quickly discovered that it would not been a possibility for me. Seemed like an unnecessary obstacle at the time and I'm sure that I would not have stuck with playing if I had switched.

For my son, I'm treating ukulele lessons as an entry into playing a stringed instrument, but I just want to set him up for success. I'm leaning on letting him proceed as a lefty, and will eventually restring it before his actual lessons so that the G is on top. Funny thing is, I've been playing my son's uke and have learned quite a few uke chords with it strung upside down, ha! I hear you, I can also look at my collection and be satisfied, but my personal collection did not come about as easily as my right handed friends. Thank you!

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 Post subject: Re: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-hande
PostPosted: July 9th, 2020, 1:35 pm 
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Joined: September 27th, 2011, 12:10 pm
Posts: 47
Location: South east, USA
bobjones2260 wrote:
I had this struggle with my daughter and I think I made the right choice. First of all my daughter is left handed, she writes, throws all left handed. She started on Piano at age 6 and as you know there is no left or right however her teacher made an obervation (she did not know Liz was left handed at the time). She said my daughter has a very strong left hand (bass part of piano) as well as chords and the right hand for Melody and leads was not as developed. Next was flute, now Flute is only played one way (no left handed flutes) however unlike piano both hands work together on the flute. When Taylor Swift came out and my daughter was 10, she wanted to learn guitar. Now I had to make a decision, first of all if she learns guitar left handed there are plenty of left handed guitars in the house. She tried left handed and it was so natural for her. Again the key word is "Natural", she also picked up the Uke and I restrung it for her left handed. I agree with the above, is the child writes left handed, if they throw left handed keep em left handed. The brain is wired and tells you if your left handed or right handed and have them go with what is natural. My son is different he is right handed, he plays drums and keyboards and if he goofs around on the guitar it's always right handed.


Thank you for sharing your experience with your kids, this is most helpful. The difficult part about my experience is that my son is starting at a young age, well before he's established a dominate writing/throwing hand. He's about 50/50 right now, although tends to favor his left hand when eating with utensils. I appreciate your "natural" comment and all I have to go on is that my son has always held a stringed instrument like a lefty. I have never showed my son how to hold a uke or bass, this is just how he's always done it naturally... but I'm just not sure that he's not just copying me. Seems to me that I should go with the flow and continue to let him do what is natural, even if he ends up writing and throwing right handed.

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 Post subject: Re: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-hande
PostPosted: July 9th, 2020, 1:44 pm 
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Location: South east, USA
screambasses wrote:
I think it will come naturally, but the uke idea is great.

I'm somewhat of an anomaly - I'm actually right-handed.
Literally, the only thing I do left-handed is play bass.
And I had a similar experience. I started playing righty, but lefty was much more comfortable.

pete



Thanks, I'm hoping that uke lessons will be an easy gateway onto playing a string instrument.

Wow, that is cool! I find it amazing that you even knew to try to play left-handed. This is actually something that has crossed my mind given that he's yet to establish a dominant writing/throwing hand. He seems quite comfortable playing as a lefty, so it seems like I should go with what's been natural.

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 Post subject: Re: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-hande
PostPosted: July 9th, 2020, 2:37 pm 
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Whichever way is natural is the way to go.

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 Post subject: Re: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-hande
PostPosted: July 10th, 2020, 6:54 am 
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Joined: August 1st, 2015, 6:36 pm
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Location: Cambridge, MA
I echo what others say about letting your son play whichever way he's naturally inclined to.

I think I've mentioned that since picking up the instrument as a teenager I've taken several multi-year breaks from music. I started out playing lefty. After a few years off, in my late 20s or so, I decided to learn righty. It was fine; I enjoyed it and learned new songs that were more challenging than anything I'd played before as a lefty. I had no ill side effects. But then I gave it up for another few years.

When I picked it up again most recently, I went back to lefty. One funny thing that happened was that songs I learned to play righty, I could only picture in my mind playing lefty. When I picked up a bass again I couldn't actually play them because the muscle memory wasn't there, but it took no time at all to re-learn the songs because the mental memory was there.

Anyway, I don't think it's a huge deal which way your son learns. It's not like writing where forcing someone to use their non-dominant hand can really mess them up. But for maximum enjoyment, let him go with what feels natural.


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 Post subject: Re: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-hande
PostPosted: July 13th, 2020, 5:09 am 
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Joined: February 11th, 2010, 3:12 pm
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Location: north Louisiana
I decided to take guitar lessons when I was a young teenager. I bought a righty guitar, and went to three lessons. Before the next lesson, I restrung the guitar to lefty, and I played it that way on the fourth lesson. My teacher told me to play lefty - more natural, easier, etc.

Let your son make that decision.


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 Post subject: Re: Should I encourage my son to continue to play left-hande
PostPosted: July 15th, 2020, 1:57 am 
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Joined: November 26th, 2008, 6:14 am
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Location: Oahu, Hawaii
My Father once went to my elementary school when I was guite young, and told my teacher, and the principle, in no uncertain terms, that they were Not to try to change me into a right hander. .. my father had designs on me growing up to be a left handed pitcher in the Major leagues (I am the only lefty in my entire family tree...)... he was more disappointed in my decision to become a musician... :)

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